


Honesty

by lornrocks



Series: Honesty [1]
Category: Fandom: Heroes
Genre: Fuckbuddies, M/M, firstpersonpov, letter format, thewall, transitions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-24
Updated: 2013-06-24
Packaged: 2017-12-16 00:52:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/855902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lornrocks/pseuds/lornrocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter talks about Sylar, and his relationship with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honesty

To be perfectly and honestly clear, Sylar and I weren't always enemies. Well, okay, we were. But we weren't just throwing punches and venomous glares at each other.

So okay, we fucked a couple times. I don't know why. It just happened.

...And kept happening.

Well, that is, until we thought maybe we were brothers. As if I didn't have enough angst, right?

But then there was that teeny bit of time where we weren't brothers and we weren't really enemies; we had a common foe. Maybe that brought us together.

That is, of course, until that son of a bitch killed my brother.

That put a damper on things. Understandably.

But then...that thing happened. In Parkman's prison. And we were angry, and he was being a giant pussy the whole time, and I was just taking out my frustration on anything and everything- including that damned wall.

But as the years went by, I found it harder and harder to stay mad. How could I? Everything seemed so far away. So distant.

That's probably when things started to revert back to how they were. We shared quick fucks against the wall, in the shower, anywhere and anytime we wanted to since it was just _us_.

I don't know what it was that made me forgive him, but I did. I forgave Sylar once and for all. Maybe I was learning to let go, or maybe I knew that deep down inside I wasn't exactly a saint, either.

So after we broke out of there, and after we stopped Samuel, I had time to think. A lot of time, as it turned out, since we went into hiding after my well meaning (but ultimately naive) niece took a swan dive off a ferris wheel and changed everything.

I think maybe that's when he and I moved to the point we are now. It's hard to stay mad at someone who's trying just as hard as you are to keep it all together every day. The fact that he cleaned the apartment and cooked all the time didn't hurt, either.

One time, I came home early from work and walked in on him sitting on the couch crying. Not a lot, but just silent tears. I knew a lot about silent tears, the kind that escape even when you try and stop them, the kind that leave shiny trails across your cheeks. The ones that everyone can see, no matter how much you try to wipe them away.

Sylar was hurting, and maybe it's just my empathy, but I was hurting, too. Later that night was the first time I let him stay in my bed. When I ended up waking up from a bad dream, he was there holding my hand. Call me sentimental, but it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen him do.

So I kissed him.

Since then, we've pretty much become an item. Sure, we had our fucked up codependency issues and our totally dysfunctional history, but the thing that matters most to me is that he loves me. And I know he does, because he tells me every chance he gets. I don't mind.

I haven't said it back yet, in case you're wondering. It's going to take me a little bit more time to get used to the idea. But I think that I do care a lot about him, maybe a little more than I'd like to admit.

So before you shun me forever, Ma, I want you to know, I'm not crazy. You're not going to lose me. And I love you, no matter how much you probably hate me right now.

Everyone makes mistakes. I just hope you have the courage to forgive me, and forgive Gabriel.

I'll be waiting for your call when you're ready.

**Author's Note:**

> Written forever ago on LJ.


End file.
